Why It’s All Worthwhile

February 18, 2009


  1. Wow…your baby looks just like my baby (born 8/23 7:47 AM). If I could post a pick I would. Awesome.

    The reason I’m writing to you, MK –

    I’ve got a story line suggestion for you. I ran a blog called Tkidsblog on blogspot and we all got tired and quit it. But this story keeps coming back to me. It came about a few years ago after I read a story about British Intelligence (MI6)hiring “a quality control watchdog to safeguard the quality of its intelligence after criticisms about information supplied ahead of the war in Iraq” and was targeting “A businessman with management experience….to check the agency’s overall operations.”

    After hearing this story, I wrote some back and forth dialogue etween James Bond and Rhys-Jones-Smythe Templeton, his mandatory accountant sidekick.

    Scene: Kiev, midnight

    Bond has just seduced the Prime Minister’s wife, and having been successful, deftly removed a small packet of microfilm from her anal sphincter. Templeton joins the action to examine the packet.

    Templeton: James, I don’t trust the authenticity of this evidence.

    Bond: Pal, I just pulled this out of that old bird’s arse hole. I think its reliable.

    Templeton: Better safe than sorry James. By the way, do you have that expense report filled out yet? Q is really after me about your tardiness.

    KGB officers arrive and open fire.

    Bond: Templeton you twat get out of my way, I need a clear shot. Flag down that cab, we need to get out of here.

    Templeton: James, I don’t have cab voucher, let’s take the public tram….

    Scene: Generic Middle Eastern City, dusk. A man rests atop a minaret, leading the call to prayer. Meanwhile, down below, Bond is engaged in a high stakes game of intrigue as he attempts to trade a 2,000 lb bail of hashish for a truck load of Stinger Missiles.

    Bond: Well, here it is, all 2,000 lbs., minus a little bit I had to “dispose of” on the way down here, if you know what I mean. Right fellas? Eh??

    Abu-Simbal: Right James, hahaha, “dispose of.” That’s a good one. You are a man of humor. I can trust you.

    Templeton rushes into the dank cellar with an ear piece dangling from his collar and a slide rule at his side.

    Templeton: James. What are you saying. You..you…you actually consumed some of this evidence, which I might add is property of Her Majesty’s Government.

    Abu-Simbal: Pulling out a gun. James? Who is this? [Aside to henchmen] Kill them. Kill them both.

    Bond: Templeton you little turd. Now we’re done for.

    Templeton: Consumption of narcotics is a violation of Section 12.24(a) of Her Majesty’s Criminal Code, as well as a Departmental Infraction and dare I say against the rules and regulation found within Section 12, para. 3 of the employee handbook which you did sign. At least, you gave me your word you signed. Oh god James, tell me you signed the handbook.

    Abu-Simbal: For the love of Ali Haji Sheik, James how do you put up with this? Men, lower your guns. We will fight another day.

    Simbal and his men begin to withdraw.

    Templeton: Really James. You disappoint me. I suppose if you forgot to sign the handbook you also forgot to tell Mr. Simbal here that we have been recording this whole affair and will be promptly turning over the transcripts to Price Waterhouse Coopers.

    Abu-Simbal: Now you may kill them….

    Anyways, just thought I’d offer it up. Good luck. Also, please post your Washington City Paper editorial cartoons, including the one with Bill and Hillary sporting Chairman Mao garb (circa fall 1997).

  2. Michael

    Are you the son or grandson of Joseph Kupperman, who lived in Brooklyn and passed away in July 1974?

    • No, I’m afraid not.

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