Twain and Einstein in Ding Dong Dane

October 24, 2009

“Great news, pal! I just sold another cartoon idea to the Banana Splits!” said Mark Twain, waving a check in Albert Einstein’s face. “Let’s go celebrate!”

“That is great news, partner,” said Einstein. “”Those Splits have been very good to you. But I am afraid I cannot celebrate with you, because I have to go play Hamlet tonight at the Delacorte.”

“You’re playing Hamlet?” asked a baffled Twain. “I didn’t know you acted, Al.”

“I haven’t previously,” came the reply. “But my good friend Tony Danza had to drop out, and since it’s a non-speaking part…”

“Hamlet, a non-speaking part?” expostulated Twain. “Au contraire, mon ami! Hamlet’s gotta speak a hell of a lotta words, and all in the correct order! You got some serious studying to do!”

“It’s no good,” moaned Einstein three hours later. “Look: you stand behind a tree on the set, and just tell me the lines as they come up.” Luckily at that moment the phone rang, with a call from the President. “Swing by my house, pronto!” It was another secret mission.

“How brief my time in the limelight,” sighed Einstein as the elevator shot downwards.



  1. Twain and Einstien rule!
    Way better than Fitzgerald and Dirac.

  2. Are you a professional journalist? You write very well.

  3. Sorry to leave this here, but I don’t know of another way to contact you. We are interested in bringing you to Chicago for an event early 2010. Please feel free to email me if you are interested. Thank you and great work!

  4. this is great!

  5. This sounds to me like it was written by a professional journalist.

  6. Thanks for noticing, this is probably the best piece of “you are there” type journalism I’ve ever done. Maybe I’ll win the Pulitzer…

  7. Mr. Kupperman, on behalf of me and all my crazy pals, we’d like to award you the Pulitzer Prize, aka the Me Prize! It’s a celebration of excellence in things, which you are (excellent). Later dude!

  8. For the love of god, I do not understand this so-called “comic.” My understanding is that Einstein was a major theoretical physisicist while Mark Twain was a highly-regarded American writer of such classics as The Adventures of Huckleberry Fin and “The Mysterious Strangers.” The did not team up in any way nor did they go on any kind of secet missions together. Shouldn’t a so-called “comic” have some semblance of realism in it, so that the reader may relate the material to his/her own life, a life which does not involve Tony Danza or, again, secret missions. I do not wonder that children are so lost these days given the way the media is so concerned with triviality and absurd pairings between iconic figures. I do not wish to step on anybody’s toes but I would prefer that my comics are relatable. I enjoy it when “Nancy” points out some absurdity to Sluggo, or when something goes awry among the kids in “The Family Circus.” I will look for my humor elsewhere, than in a so-called “comic” whose main concern seems to be trashing the reputations of famous authors and physicists in order to puzzle readers who just happen to be looking for an honest laugh.

  9. Great stuff, you are so right!

  10. Very interesting views shared.

  11. Fabulous – very well written – hats off to you

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