Posts Tagged ‘showbiz’


It’s Off To The Printers: Mark Twain’s Autobiography 1910-2010

May 31, 2011

A mix of illustrated writing and comics, this volume follows Twain as he navigates the Twentieth Century and makes his way into the Twenty-First. His adventures are tense, scary, sexy, mischievous, and sometimes embarrassing. Twain spills the dirt on his secret love affairs with Marilyn Monroe and Mame Eisenhower, tells about his spying and private detective work, and dishes about his involvement in film, TV and advertising. The time he took LSD, the day he tried to hypnotize a donut clerk. Where he first met Einstein and how they travelled through time together. How to build your own raft and the life of a hobo. And who really killed JFK…? All this and much, much more.

Available in September from Fantagraphics.





Twain and Einstein in Ding Dong Dane

October 24, 2009

“Great news, pal! I just sold another cartoon idea to the Banana Splits!” said Mark Twain, waving a check in Albert Einstein’s face. “Let’s go celebrate!”

“That is great news, partner,” said Einstein. “”Those Splits have been very good to you. But I am afraid I cannot celebrate with you, because I have to go play Hamlet tonight at the Delacorte.”

“You’re playing Hamlet?” asked a baffled Twain. “I didn’t know you acted, Al.”

“I haven’t previously,” came the reply. “But my good friend Tony Danza had to drop out, and since it’s a non-speaking part…”

“Hamlet, a non-speaking part?” expostulated Twain. “Au contraire, mon ami! Hamlet’s gotta speak a hell of a lotta words, and all in the correct order! You got some serious studying to do!”

“It’s no good,” moaned Einstein three hours later. “Look: you stand behind a tree on the set, and just tell me the lines as they come up.” Luckily at that moment the phone rang, with a call from the President. “Swing by my house, pronto!” It was another secret mission.

“How brief my time in the limelight,” sighed Einstein as the elevator shot downwards.


Twain and Einstein in The Adventure’s Off!

October 24, 2009

The police inspector was yelling at Twain and Einstein again. “You two are the worst nightclub owners in all of Soho! I’ll find something to plant on you if it’s the last thing I ever do!”

“I’ve got some potting soil in my underwear,” offered Einstein, but Twain wasn’t so obliging. “Look, Inspector, either charge us or book us! Our farm club is really fantastic, we want to go back there right now and disco with the animals.”

It had been only two weeks since the celebrated pair had opened Surprisers, the first nightclub to feature a petting zoo on the disco floor, as well as a working farm in the men’s room. The place was mobbed every night, and now supplied milk to all the local stores. As a result both Organized Crime and Organizing Farming had been ‘up in arms.’ On this latest raid, the police had found some acid planted behind a cow’s ear, and Twain and Einstein had both been pulled in. “I’ll get you for white slaving or something,” said the inspector, but finally he was forced to release them for lack of evidence.

“Where are the waitresses we just hired? I want to strike out with them,” said Einstein, who was newly single again. “I only hope one is mentally troubled!” But as they entered their office, they found a guest. He was a little timid-looking fellow in a rumpled tweed jacket, and his bulging glasses emphasized his disorderly greying red hair.

“Woodney Allenby, the famous comedian of self-embarassment!” exclaimed Einstein. “What are you doing here? We didn’t  order any pratfalls!” Mark Twain joined in on the ribbing. “Maybe he’s come to invite us to the Ployboy Mansion, Al!” he exclaimed. “Woodley’s there every night, I hear it’s a real swinging scene!”

Allenby winced. “Perhaps you gentlemen haven’t heard, but I have dropped the Nebbish business and am concentrating on my new singing career.” He jumped up and began singing:

Doin’ it in the overhead luggage rack

Mile high action, in a highly confined space

Coats and handbags pressin’ on my back

Hear the click as it opens, see the stewardess’s surprised face

Twain and Einstein were unimpressed. Woodney put down the tennis racket he’d been using as a pretend microphone and faced them. “The truth is, fellas, I need your help… as drivers!”

Twain was blunt. “Neither of us can drive, Woodney. If that’s what you need, we can’t help you.” Allenby was disappointed, but he thanked them and left. THE END


Snake’N’Bacon is up at the Adult Swim site!

May 21, 2009

Picture 2


SCOOP: SAW started as a character on CHEERS.

February 8, 2009

     It’s true! While no tape exists of the scenes that featured actor Tobin Bell visiting the Cheers bar, we recently managed to get our hands on a small piece of the script.

(In this scene, Norm and Cliff have been arguing. Feeling aggrieved, he moves around the bar, ending up sitting next to Saw).

SAW: It appears that your watch has stopped, may I?

CLIFF: Huh? Oh, sure, pal, be my guest. (He hands his watch to Saw, who fiddles with it for a moment and then hands it back).

SAW: There you go.

CLIFF: What the- that’s amazing! How’d you do that? You must be some sort of mechanical genius!

SAW: I would hope so. (Pause) I also build intricate machines that torture and dismember people, usually involving some sort of behavioral choice. It’s very challenging work.

CLIFF: Huh. (Long pause) Lotta money in something like that?

SAW: Not really. I do it out of love.

CLIFF: (Thinking) Would you be able to make a machine to handle a guy who weighs, say, 300 pounds? (He glares at Norm).

SAW: Yeah, sure, I could do that.

CLIFF: And maybe just torture him a little, you know? Maybe just tickle him with a feather. Where does, uh, this torturing take place?

SAW: In dank, fetid basements and tunnels. I own seventeen miles of basement in this town.

     This is all that survives… a scrap rescued from a fire. Apparently the show was considered “too upsetting” for the Cheers audience.